Was he actually thinking that those $450 were just gifted by the exporter?
Sure, but you still have to respect the form of the statement. You have to pretend that something happened to someone else.
For example: "How would someone remove a 4 1/2 inch cylinder that's stuck in an m&m minis tube. Asking for a friend."
Not: "I got my dick stuck in an m&m minis tube, how do I get it out? Asking for a friend."
Everyone knows that you're talking about yourself, but you're supposed to pretend that it's your friend who's the idiot.