Context and tone are so important in therapy. I had trouble with a new counselor because she was far more challenging than my last one, who was more about building my confidence. She kept pushing, lightly, until I defended myself — I told her that suffering isn't a competition and how I feel is valid — when I realized she was trying to get me to own my emotions when I was almost disassociating. She's better than I initially thought, and she treaded that line very well.