You might want to check your sources. Most people associate it with 4chan and the like but the term was coined in the 90s by a woman who started a support group for people who had trouble connecting with others, herself included.

But what happened, predictably, is that people who were helped by the group left. No reason to go to incel meetings if you've found love. The people who never found a part er grew bitter and poisoned the whole thing.