Here are some shows that, imho, did it right.

"Black Sails" is about pirates. There's a lot of graphic sex, but it's always plot driven. Similarly, "The Americans," the Soviet agents are using whatever means they can to accomplish their mission, and if that includes a middle aged man seducing a high school girl, so be it. Another is "Penny Dreadful." Witches, vampires, werewolves, and the reanimated dead.

There's a scene in "Killing Eve' where the assassinatrix is going at it so hard that she's scaring the innocent guy she's with.

But yeah, most of the time it feels like they are trying to spice things up, and usually failing.