I am probably quite agender, as I have no intrinsic sense of my gender. I simply accepted my AGAB (assigned gender at birth) without questioning it. At some point, I realized that I don't feel any connection to this gender, no feeling like other people have. I also don't see it as something that influences my personality and I don't apply to gender norms. I just don't care about gender. (This btw. also makes it harder for me to understand people whose sense of gender is so strong that they even reject their AGAB, although I accept their feeling, of course.) So how do you “feel” gender?

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[–] 10 points 10 months ago*

You can only feel what it feels like to be you, and since you've only ever been yourself you have no point of comparison.

I don't think gender feels like anything. I am trans, I have been both a man and a woman and in my experience they don't feel different. In this moment I feel like myself, just as I did a decade ago.

The things that have changed is that I no longer suffer from a crippling depression with an unclear cause. I have a range of emotions, and can feel emotions correctly. I consider my body to be part of myself.

All the above are now clearly signs of gender dysphoria, but at the time were hard to identify. The depression always has a more plausible explanation. The other two, I barely noticed I had because I experienced that my entire life.

It took me a very long time to discover that I am trans. It took a lot of self reflection to figure it out. Feelings were useless. I did think I would be happier as a woman, but that always seemed more of a logical deduction than a feeling.

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