https://hackersdictionary.com/html/entry/grok.html
I read it in my early twenties, almost twenty years ago. I am not a developer but am in the same area. I always wear some form of shoes when I leave my house unless I enter someone else's house. I don't think I have trouble with personal space but I don't really see anyone other than my wife and kid.
I remember liking some of the themes of the book but, reflecting on it now, yes, Heinlein can be problematic.