or you have such trouble being understood, or understanding neurotypical people, you think you need a new word.

My background pretty heavily leans toward comp-sci and hacker culture, and "grok" in those circles is almost never used in the context of people, so I find it a bit odd that this is what you seem to be focusing on. It had very little to do with the difficulty of understanding other people, and much more to do with the understanding of a language, or nuanced hardware interactions, or programming techniques.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok#In_computer_programmer_culture

For what it's worth, I agree on your specifics, and if someone is frequently making statements about being unable to grok others, or others not being able to grok them, than it's at the very least off-putting.