There is plenty of evidence of people being demonitized for using certain words or phrases

No, I don't think this is true. I think that the context is what leads to demonetisation. I am not arguing that this is acceptable, but I don't see any evidence that words alone will cause demonetisation. Even the most offensive racial slurs are allowed in the context of e.g. a linguist educating about their origins, or an uncensored music video.

they definitely stop giving you ad revenue if you violate the rules

Yep, and that's fair enough. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom to get paid for speaking.

Youtube specifically has a list of words and phrases that may lead to being demonitized.

I don't think there is such a list, at least not one published by YouTube. Can you find it? I can't.