I highly agree with your first statement, i used to be a strict gender abolitionist. That changed when my aunt came out and was willing to have a discussion about what gender meant to her. I still definitely do not understand gender, it seems alien to me to identify with something so restrictive, but I now understand that for some people it does seem to be important to them. Thats all anecdote though, heres my question:
What is enby? Ive always identified as agender ever since i discovered that gender is important to some people. Is there a difference? Also thanks for your comment, ive always suspected that my refusal to participate in masculinity might be tied to low t, now it seems i should definitely get checked. Also is agender genderqueer?