I got both.

First one, then the other.

I’m probably still just as smart but it’s been years since I’ve felt ..sharp. I always feel so behind now. However in that time I’ve shifted from mask my everything always, to not masking at all, pretty much ever. And I’m weird. Not in a showy sort of way like my sibling who figured all attention was good attention (single mother was emotionally cold and negligent, probably un-dx ‘tism), but just.. not being concerned at all with what some rando thinks.

It’s a good balance I think. I’m still full of information and weird connections between disparate fields/info, but I also learned to give zero fucks what people think (I wasn’t good at fitting in anyway so meh)