Belief that we are on the precipice of things getting better is a delusion.

Did I say that?

Hope is not optimism. There is a significant distinction if you care to look up their definitions. It gives me more confidence that resistance is still possible, and gives others the courage to both do and desire the same, but it certainly does not make me pre-emptively expect the best outcome to simply happen as a result.

I do not believe that we are on the precipice of things getting better, make no mistake.

But simply being angry and hopeless does not produce change. And believe me, there is nothing more soul crushing than finally realizing the reason you've felt the way you have your whole life is because you're nonbinary, after you've already surrounded yourself with tons of trans friends, then see an administration call them all terrorists, revoke their medical care they need to survive, and signal to neo-nazis and far-right thugs that they will do nothing to stop politically motivated violence against you and the people you love, while friends and people you work with are being threatened with violent black-bagging and deportation.

I do not "happily walk in the street", I angrily organize with people in my community to get as many people as fucking possible dedicated to making ICE agents uncomfortable any time they appear, to get candidates in power with a goddamn spine, to stop the people I meet from ending their lives over this administration's actions, and to give people who are minimally politically active a reason to start doing more.

We've already had people in my community transition from these hyper-liberal No Kings style protests into simply walking to ICE buildings and protesting there until late into the night, because they realize that people have their back. Blocking exits for deportation vans and making these thugs feel unsafe is something they would not have done otherwise.

I've already lost someone to suicide because of this administration's actions. I've helped comfort many others. Even a communicative protest that had ZERO community organizing, charity involvement, or other forms of collective action like we've seen over and over again with these rallies would do good in my community, because it shows so many fucking people that there are people that will stand with them no matter how hard this world gets.

Any action matters. Anything to give people more hope is worth it. Anything that organizes people and gets them to take more concrete actions down the line is worth it.

I won't lose another friend.

Does the term "self-defeating" mean anything to you?