My first laptop needed a new CPU fan installed annually because I dared to use it. Not while chain-smoking, or inside a sauna, or anything. It just ate thermal paste.

I still miss it compared to my reliable modern phone, which reliably goes 'hey guess what bitch, I'm installing an update in the next three hours, and you can't say shit about it.' Several times it has booted into some lock screen I've never seen before, and viscerally hate. Occasionally, with ads. I've had to open the camera using the power button double-tap just to get around some 'By clicking Okay you give permission we're totally not forcing--' that I had no say in installing or using. I can't even silence that inane 'use report' that tells me I somehow touched it even less this week than I did last week, when I use it essentially never. The battery lasts two weeks because it just sits there, face-down, until I receive a junk call or need to take a picture. And I might just buy a camera.