“allow questioning” for things such as our rights to exist with a society respecting of our presence or self-defense.

I never said anything even remotely similar to that, but I suppose how I can you see that as a logical next step. Where I was coming from was rather: if you consider yourself to be in kinship with Hexbear bc of the trans connection then in that case I completely understand your response, and just as readily disagree with it. Fwiw, Ada would as well, I am pretty sure?

The topic under discussion was toxicity, which Hexbear outright revels in at whereas Blåhaj Lemmy I thought was a beacon of shining hope to weed out such and create a truly welcoming atmosphere? (in regards to LGBTQIA+ lifestyle) Lumping the two together would be like saying that you must be best buddies with Donald Trump if you are a man (you = anyone here, non-specifically). Just as there is more than one way to live life, there are more than two sides to every logical position. I think there might be ways for people to co-exist, without Blåhaj Lemmy having to put up with any crap, and vice versa if conservatives wanted to not see that you exist. But seriously, if you are not aware, that's not what Chapotraphouse@hexbear.net is all about - that is only what they claim to be, which is what we might call an "alternative fact".

Thank you for your politeness even if we did disagree (which I am not certain that we did actually:-).

Fwiw I was not necessarily saying that we MUST or even that we SHOULD welcome mainstream normies here - I do happen to think that, but I have long since given up any hope that it will ever happen. So rather my position here was that we should be honest about what is present vs. not found anywhere in the Fediverse. We do have toxicity here. Even if you think that I personally am the chief source of it... then that still would show that such exists, no? As you open your eyes, perhaps to places best left hidden (and many of which fortunately your instance has already defederated from), you will see that it is quite common. This is a sad fact, but a true one.