I've criticized aspects on GrapheneOS before & have gotten well thought out & reasonable reasons why they made the decisions they do. They took the time to address my concerns respectfully & even linked independent research that supported their position.
Also I am not an active member of the GrapheneOS community, just an enjoyer of the project. So unless you've actually joined their community & tried engaging with them respectfully, I have no idea what you're talking about. Every single interaction I've had with them has been positive. Anytime I've looked in their chat rooms I see people helping out new users & answering questions I imagine have been asked hundreds of times.
Stop listening to what other people say, just go & see for yourself.
