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Contra A Review Of Dating Men In The Bay Area (thingofthings.substack.com)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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Follow-up to the post from earlier this week.

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[–] 9 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Join any of the 99.44% of other Lemmy groups where men are freely allowed to talk (and where they make fine use of that freedom) and talk to them then.

How hard was that?

Oh, right. It fucking wasn't.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    It's not a question for me of "I don't like the community so might as well block it." Rather, I think it's simply unethical to have spaces where we talk about people and ban them from responding based purely on their demographic rather than their opinions or character.

    One of my favourite comics is that sea lion comic, and I still haven't decided whether I sympathize more with the sea lion or with the humans.

    Anyway, I think the worst action I could do would be to simply ignore this community, rather than constructively participate in it. I'm not breaking any rules here.

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  • [+] 12 points 1 year ago (6 children)
    [deleted]
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  • [–] [S] 3 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    There's a difference though. Women are not generally literally banned from online spaces, not any spaces I am aware of anyway. The spaces you're talking about may be hostile or misogynistic or otherwise unwelcoming to women, or might have emergent behavior that causes women's perspectives to be de-emphasized, but not "we literally don't allow women to post here."

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    Compassionate Fucking Buddha!

    We get it. You disagree with the very reason for this group's existence.

    GO THE FUCK ELSEWHERE!

    It really is that simple.

    GO THE FUCK ELSEWHERE!

    This group isn't to your taste. GO THE FUCK TO A GROUP THAT IS TO YOUR TASTES!

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    You're speaking like you didn't intentionally read an entire comment chain that started with a now-deleted comment of someone mentioning we should "break down barriers" between men and women, and then complain at me for just pointing out the irony of saying that in a woman-only sub. I didn't bring this topic up ado of nothing and nobody forced you to read any of that.

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  • [+] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)
    [deleted]
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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 year ago

    The effect is not the same. There is not even an unwritten rule to kick women out of the community. Women simply don't enjoy being in those spaces and generally leave voluntarily. Not everyone does though. There are women on 4chan, in gaming spaces, and all manner of generally-masculine-leaning spaces.

    Please point me to a Lemmy community where women are asked not to post, brigaded, insulted, threatened with murder and rape. I have never been threatened with murder and rape for being a woman on lemmy. Granted, I have seen lemmites volley heinous insults and probably-not-actually-credible death threats over fairly minor political disagreements.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    I appreciate your zeal for egalitarianism however, there are many historical and extant groups and clubs that quite literally ban the inclusion of women. I don't know if they have online counterparts, but I do know they exist and operate in the real world. If an IRL group or club can ban access to women, why is it so odd to have an online forum that restricts access to men?

    If we're speaking of online only spaces, there are plenty of groups across the span of social media that are locked/private/require application to join or participate, I don't really see a difference. A local community Facebook page allows non members to see posts but subsequent comment discussions or the ability to post is banned for anyone who isn't a member. An ex partner of mine ran several servers for online gaming that banned or removed any women players for reasons too stupid to go into here (I was 19 and very lost). This space just uses mods instead of an application process to achieve the same.

    (Many thanks to all the mods here btw, your efforts and dedication are much appreciated!)

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