Your post is super unhealthy. Newborns suck, they are a lot of work. But you do it all and don’t regret it. If you’re looking at you’re child with derision, you probably have depression

Yep, if you look at top posts here, there's one from two years ago that's me saying the same exact thing 🙃

So you did it once and then went back for round two?

Raising kids can be challenging, especially in the newborn phase. Sharing the frustration rather than bottle it up is a good thing

Depending on how young, things that move or vibrate can help. Our little one had stomach issues and for way too long the only place he’d sleep was the bouncy seat, with vibrate on. Our older one would go to sleep fastest in the car.

Those are just examples - different parents have different ways to cope or to help their kid. You might get a lot out of talking to other parents about their experiences

We just kept forcing ourselves to get through every day until it just got easier really.

I went back to work after my vacation time ran out but made myself available to my wife when needed. We had a pretty liberal work from home policy due to the pandemic but I made sure I was in the office for my own sanity when possible and when she couldn’t take it anymore I would work from home so she could take a walk or something.

Yeah i goût that, i think everyvody or most got it too. I m going 'lfor is after venting. Life sucks, just enjoy it. After thé poop phase it will ne endless questions, then homeworks, then messy Rooms, then i hâte you, then can i take thé car, then .. And Every phase youll wish for thé next zone to Côme ans miss thé previous. Enjoy now. That diaper ils not juste gross ans smelly, its epic! Thé acrid mustard like substance that crawled up all thé way to thé pijama shoulders ils a tale to retold for ages. You are a god to a méat bundle of needs.

I agree that it's unfortunate that we are unable to gain informed consent before birthing a child. I also don't think any individual is obligated to have a child.

However, everyone deciding to go child free is a more sure apocalypse than any other potential one we currently face. Yes, I'd prefer to select a consenting soul from the aether, but my kid seems pretty happy to be around so far.

I also know that we're facing a less than ideal future that probably will push some hardships onto any offspring we do have. That is unfortunate. However, I once saw a relevant quote on Reddit and have referenced it several times since (paraphrased here):

"I once apologized to my wife for having kids in such tumultuous times. She said 'never apologize for raising dragon slayers in a time when there are dragons.'"

I do not mean to invalidate your opinion - parenthood is a very personal choice and, per individual, there is no wrong answer.

That sounds like hell, how'd you do it?

The newborn phase (and also money) is why we aren’t having any more children.

When our twins were born and we couldn’t take shifts and also couldn’t have outside help because Covid happened 6 weeks later. I had some dark dark thoughts.

Like everything though. It gets better. You already have one you know that. Doesn’t really help in the moment.

To be clear, this post is serving as catharsis, the baby experiences as little of my frustration as it is humanly possible to express

Let go of your anger. That potato bas done absolutely nothing to you. Yours and your partner choices led to this. Now live with it. Isbitbhard ans exhaustng ? Yes absolutely, breath, think and lovevthat little ball of complète helplessness. To quote a famous singer. We all got shit to eat in life, happiness is juste a matter of appetite.

Heres thé song, i sang that a lot while rocking m'y kids over nights may it help you.. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w2MGfsM74Rw

Ima keep it a buck man I said what I said cause Im incredibly jaded. I think bringing someone into existence is generally a horribly cruel thing to do and that parenthood should be pursued by only the most headstrong and serene among us.

Just exercising my free pass to speak my mind that comes along with the anonymity. You can safely write me off as a crazy person unless you care to engage further

At this stage, there's not much that can be the baby's fault. It's okay to vent and okay to be at a mental stage where you need to vent. The wet nurse who helped with my kid's birth said, at this state of life, if your kid is pink and breathing you're doing okay. (There is some presumption of race here and I apologize if it's inaccurate.)

Seriously ... Don't hurt the kid, make sure he or she eats, and make sure they're breathing. Show them as much affection as you and the mother are able. Sleep when you can. Your job right now is to keep them alive and growing. Later, probably really soon, they'll reward you by becoming whomever they'll be.

Thanks, we're hanging in there. Shared a good laugh just now about the sleeping baby's utterly floppy limbs

I also *tried to focus on the newborn phase, not the newborn. It's the collection of circumstances that are making me miserable, not the baby itself.

It gets better OP, but yeah, babies suck man

I can sympathize. I’m at 5.5 months now and it’s way way better. He is lovely, adorable and I kiss him when he’s gone. However man did he suck the life out of me for those first couple of months. I was as furious and frustrated as you described and I had nothing but regrets.

I made it through so all I can provide are tips that helped me

Put in noise canceling headphones and upbeat music. Just because the baby is screaming doesn’t mean you have to hear it.

Second, a blow dryer worked wonders for us. We blow dried that baby constantly. It’s a bit warmer for you now but it worked for us.

Third rope any family member you can into watching them for a bit of time so you can get away. Family members say they want to help then stick them with the baby and get out.

Forth take full on turns. Get out and run or something to get energy out and let your partner do the same.

Fifth try and get to a point where pumping and bottle feeding is a thing. Dad bottle do wonders for bonding.

Last it will get better but you don’t need to feel guilty. It’s a selfish scream potato that is hell bent on testing your sanity. Just concentrate on making it through the next months with every one and your relationships healthy and you will have succeeded with flying colors.

Continue to be helpful and competent. It’s unconditional love. It is a thankless job. Do not look externally for validation or praise. Newborns suck. Your were probably a little shit for the first few months of your life too. You’re just repaying your debt of existence.

For me, cardio helped my sanity. I hate running but I would just take 10 minutes for myself and run a mile. Then I’d get home and shower and it’s like a mood reset. Some people also like cold water on their hands and face.

Wait till your kid pees on your face while you're changing diapers.

Fun times!

I remember with my firstborn, I genuinely wanted to jump off the balcony and end my life due to lack of sleep.

You're definitely not alone. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

can't realte. no kids. if I had them they would be in college while im unemployed and looking to not be able to take care of myself and their mom in retirement. All in all best decision of my life.

Here’s a reminder that Shaken Baby Syndrome exists because of this exact scenario. One of the best pieces of advice I have: Your baby won’t be able to fall off of the floor.

By that, I mean it’s perfectly okay to set them down on the floor and go for a quick 10 minute walk with your partner and toddler while the baby cries at home. Baby will be fine on the floor for a few minutes, especially if they’re not even holding themselves up yet. Walking away for a few minutes to recollect is much better in the long term for both you and the baby. People get angry when they’re sleep deprived, and even loving parents can end up hurting/killing their baby when they’re delusional from their fourth straight day without any rest.

Friend, all I can say is that you're not the only one who has felt this way and it does get better.

Those are almost exactly the words someone else said to me when I expressed similar sentiments on Reddit and they were right.

OP is having a hard time. It's normal for new parents. They're not exactly wrong - I wouldn't say newborns suck, but they're challenging as hell for both parents.

The kid's life may or may not rock, but a struggling parent of a newborn is no reason to assume either way.