Sounds like it was written by an AI and packed with no real information since no official research has been done. I mean HRT for trans people is still and "off-label" use because the drug companies refuse to research it. Heck they barely researched use on cis-women considering most doctors still are stuck on the idea that the old estrogen used to increase cancer risk significantly and so don't recommend HRT for menopausal cis-women either despite the unofficial evidence that it's extremely useful.

Anyway, I'm in my late 40s and honestly my libido has been pretty great ever since I bumped up my target estrogen levels to levels that aren't cut in half to account for the old estrogen that caused cancer. I stay around 300-400pg/ml instead of 100-200 and it has helped significantly. I'm thinking I missed the opportunity for breast growth due to keeping levels too low for too long (never reached Tanner Stage 4 even). But libido has improves as well as emotional health. Sure I'm more emotional, but it comes more as crying than rage which is way better. I'm just not as used to suppressing that intensity of that, and now since I present feminine, I really don't have to as much since society allows us to show more emotion.

Anyway, at least anecdotally, the trick seems to be keeping estrogen levels to those that your body best works with. I can't say what those are for you, and no research exists either, so experimentation is what helped me. Fortunately, my doctor was onboard and gave me a standing order for blood tests so I can get it done a few months after we make adjustments each time. I'm also taking a slightly higher progesterone dose the last year (200mg instead of 100mg), but I'm not sure how much effect that had directly. I do know when I first upped it, and before I started experimenting with estrogen levels, it did make my nipples slightly more sensitive, but other effects were maybe too subtle to notice. Estrogen has been the big hitter.

Not much relevant in there to folk who have had bottom surgery.

This is great! It's a little thin, bordering on listicle, but there is so little discussiona about this in the media, it's great to see any at all.

Excellent analysis, curse them click baits!

"We really don’t know how much long-term GAHT [gender-affirming hormone therapy] affects the sexual health of trans women over 50.”

Saved you a click

Most of the time I feel really cute

<3

The only thing I really know of it was some overly fetishized view of it from my shitty transphobic sibling who showed me porn of trans women when I was like 5. So I mostly just resigned myself to living out the rest of my life according to the expectations I felt I had to abide by. I’ve luckily always been incredibly introspective though so I never really let that sense of unease go and became more aware of its roots as I gained more understanding of transitioning.

Mmm, when I was growing up, there was VERY little in the way of trans representation, it was still a underground subculture basically. Sure people delighted seeing drag queens at Studio 54 or wherever, but in day to day life, we were not accepted anywhere near the degree we are today. So it was hard to even consider it as an option unless you wanted an extremely hard life, there were people who chose that and bless them for paving the way for all of us.

Or not being able to commiserate on how shitty women are treated because my previous male privelage shielded me from that

Yeah, funny you should mention that, I'm a big movie fan and now I have a hard time watching a lot of movies I used to enjoy because of the level of misogynistic humor that used to be acceptable was off the charts.

But overall I am so so so so grateful that I have given myself the gift of the rest of my life. There is no making up for lost time but rather making the best of what’s left to come.

Hear hear, yes I feel lucky honestly, I know it's a burden but at the same time, I feel free, idk. Yes that's true you can't really speedrun life it doesn't work that way, best to stop and smell the roses anyways, and appreciate all the little things you might miss. I try to make time for that too 😄

It is so interesting to me the people who built normal lives with this still in the back of their minds, I just totally shut down but I suppose there are different types of people and everyone's story is different. :)

I never really had a great frame of reference for what transitioning was or what it entailed and didn't have a vocabulary to really describe how I was feeling. The only thing I really know of it was some overly fetishized view of it from my shitty transphobic sibling who showed me porn of trans women when I was like 5. So I mostly just resigned myself to living out the rest of my life according to the expectations I felt I had to abide by. I've luckily always been incredibly introspective though so I never really let that sense of unease go and became more aware of its roots as I gained more understanding of transitioning.

Yes OMG, I already have some anxiety and now I feel like I have this FOMO too since I spent so much time rotting, but I am so bad at making decisions. I still don't know what to do with my life haha.

Yeah this has been really hard for me to grapple with recently. I mostly have my main dysphorias over my physical being in a...manageable...state. Most of the time I feel really cute and get gendered correctly, or at least not misgendered as much. But dysphorias and grief regarding experiences I'll never have, or social cues I don't understand have gotten much louder. Anytime I put my hair in a ponytail and it takes me longer than I want because I haven't developed the muscle memory from decades of having to deal with long hair are more frustrating. Or feeling like I'm starting from scratch learning things that my cis-girlfriends have known since they were little. Or not being able to commiserate on how shitty women are treated because my previous male privelage shielded me from that. I think this grief and feeling a longing to make up for lost time is an underrepresented aspect of transitioning at this stage of life. But overall I am so so so so grateful that I have given myself the gift of the rest of my life. There is no making up for lost time but rather making the best of what's left to come.

yeah I guess, I just really need a boost now and then you know, I will keep trying but it's hard to keep going at it when I keep giving all my strength away and showering other people with praise and there is nothing to recharge my batteries so I have to rely on my internal strength, but that's how it goes I guess. thank you for taking the time to listen I really appreciate you <3

keep posting the music. i'm currently unable to listen to it but if you do remind me in a few days i'll give it a try! just keep pushing it

Thank you, I try to be wholesome I don't know, I would literally give a stranger the shirt off my back but no one gets to see the sweet side of me because they don't get to know me, I try to share a lot and ask questions about people too. I love doing things for people, I'm like a little bird bringing you shiny things if I'm your friend. Thanks I actually don't write that much but I really enjoy when I do, I even liked writing papers in college kind of, perhaps I should give that a try.

That would have been me if i had born a few decades earlier.

<3

in retrospect it was like a girl who was forced to grow up without any contact to other girls. kinda a sheep thrown among the wolves situation actually.

YES OMG. Every day I felt abused, people treated me as a man but I am very much more sensitive so they say things and I just have to stand there and take it because that's society right. There was no extra concern taken for me ever about my feelings so I sat on my feelings my entire life

idk why nobody in my environment seemed to understand that at all. it was so obvious

When you keep acting a certain way, you think people would get the picture and adjust accordingly but some people are quite dense or just have different life experiences where they were not exposed to things. My mom is one such person, she tries bless her, but she just does not get it, she accepts me but she seems to be pretty begrudging about changing any behavior, but then that's always been her case

i recommend you take a lot of time to explore your new identity

I've been to the library and got some books, you're right though I should slow down a bit but like you said before I feel like I have to make up for lost time or something, and rushing has always been an issue with me I think I have some temporal issues or something, time moves at a different pace for me, possibly due to psychedelic use idk, but you are right again.

Thank you so much for taking the time from your day to respond to me and read my story, I was so happy to read your comments and hear your stories and experience, it makes me feel better <3

Hihi thanks so much for taking the time to read my story and reply, it's so good to hear from someone else <3

It is so interesting to me the people who built normal lives with this still in the back of their minds, I just totally shut down but I suppose there are different types of people and everyone's story is different. :)

Now I feel like I’m in a rush to scrape together whatever time I have left to finally live the life that I want and deserve.

Yes OMG, I already have some anxiety and now I feel like I have this FOMO too since I spent so much time rotting, but I am so bad at making decisions. I still don't know what to do with my life haha.

Thank you for that, I did think of it, and I know right now this community is a bit guarded because of all the terrible things going on in the world right now and you never really know the motivations of new peoples. I thought by sharing my story I could defuse that situation a bit. I'm glad to hear that though and I do hope it helps some people maybe think about themselves or examine their own life or share their story which ever, or laugh at mine I don't care.

Right, I just didn't want to step on my tongue and say something that would ostracize me or something lol, but yes everyone has been so very kind and nice <3 I just jump to conclusions too fast because of said confidence.

OH you will :)

I posted the music I worked really hard on yesterday and it has got zero comments now still, yes sorry I have some problems but I think it's understandable? I feel like maybe I'm just doing everything wrong idk. I'm not great with memes I tried one and I just got advice instead of jokes, I'm better at making weird psychedelic art that no one seems to like. I'll keep trying

Hey girl, and welcome! I just came across your post (thanks for sharing!) and read through it. A lot of your experiences with looking back and thinking that the signs should have been so obvious deeply resonates with me. I'm in the later half of my 30's and have immense feelings of grief of not having found out sooner. I haven't had a bad life. I certainly haven't had to overcome the same obstacles you've had to which, by the way, is super commendable! I have an amazing wife and I've carved out a comfortable life with an enjoyable job that keeps the bills mostly paid and a super supportive friend group. But it never felt like I was actively making those decisions. Like someone else was steering the boat and I was left bracing for the waves. I had moments of happiness, but I realized that I had a baseline sense of unease at every waking moment. It wasn't until I started opening that Pandora's box of gender awareness that everything started making sense and hindsight came into clearer focus. Now I feel like I'm in a rush to scrape together whatever time I have left to finally live the life that I want and deserve.

I hope you aren't discouraged from continuing to post and sharing your experiences. I am, admittedly, mostly a lurker. I want to get better about being more active on here but I think trans folks in general are a little more guarded from over-sharing online. But I will say that seeing posts like this and reading about the experiences of other people has immensely helped me process my own journey. So even if you don't get the engagement you would like, I hope you take some solace from the fact that you are still making an impact and your life and perspective matter.

To answer your question, I don't think anyone would get uncomfortable just because you comment. From what I've gathered, the folks who are more active on the trans-specific instances are very good about gently reframing comments and posts which may have inadvertently been worded poorly.

Hope to see more :)

hey i really appreciated that you shared your story :)

it was very interesting to read. i always liked anime slice-of-life because of this specifically, you can have a window into other's existence. it's like taking another point-of-view for a moment. also reads a lot like french "un certain regard" movies. great stuff.

i also get your confidence issues. if you've only ever made "meh" or "bad" experiences while communicating with others, that's discouraging. it's difficult to build one's self-confidence up again but i encourage you to post memes and discuss with others here as we mostly seek interaction anyways, that's what the internet is for. enjoy :)

sry for the late reply (see my other comment). some people are only sporadically online and it can take a few days to see content.

you sound like a super wholesome person. the writing style just resonates with me. it's patient, considerate, and fair to what is being described.

I got into the rave scene and that took off, more drugs MDA, MDMA, 2CB, I helped put on a rave in a barn that we had to clean out

That would have been me if i had born a few decades earlier.

The guys were all talking about getting under girls shirts and into girls pants and here I just wanted to cuddle

Yeah same. i remember soo many incidents in school where i tried to approach girls. they thought i was trying to have sex with them or sth so they always reacted with disgust and such. i, however, merely wanted to spend time with them because i liked the "hobbies" of girls much more than the stuff that the boys talked about. i also really like(d) cuddling a lot.

in retrospect it was like a girl who was forced to grow up without any contact to other girls. kinda a sheep thrown among the wolves situation actually.

idk why nobody in my environment seemed to understand that at all. it was so obvious

I joined my friends Unitarian church instead of going to my parents Catholic church, so I could cuddle with the girls on the couch they had in the youth room haha. I had some more girlfriends interspersed but was never really interested in sex with them thus it never happened.

Yeah haha i could totally see myself do that. i got some friends that i sometimes cuddled (well they moved away years ago so i don't see them anymore, which is sad).

and i never really liked "sex" (penis-in-vagina) either. i always wanted to cuddle.

i recommend you take a lot of time to explore your new identity. i imagine it is a whole lot of change at once to overhaul one's entire life because of new insight. it's like a very long journey. best to do it slow and at a comfortable speed. those who race tire out quickly :)

Yeah I guess so, I'm kind of cold on it now though, maybe another time. I have to stop assuming people dislike me if they don't respond

All in all I just want to share with people, I want to hear their stories, I want to have fun

This is perfect :)

If you cross post your history to a more popular community like mtf, and begin or end your post with something like that, I guarantee you that you'll get more engagement. Once people know that you are open to hearing their stories and that they're not going to be "stealing the focus" by responding with their own stories, they'll be more confident in doing so :)

Hmmm, perhaps you're right, I guess I just figure that if I saw something like this I would at least acknowledge it with something idk, because of the effort that went into it? Clearly I have a different way of thinking than others as evidenced by my mess of a life haha. It did start as a question and then I started typing my introduction and then I got a bit carried away, so I edited the title to my story but I guess I should have deleted the question at the end then. It's really hard for me to communicate what I want due to my confidence issues so most times I will just not bother or go away if I feel I am being a bother which I do when no one says a word to me. I guess I shouldn't put my mental illness problems on other people though.

All in all I just want to share with people, I want to hear their stories, I want to have fun, but every time I end up feeling like I did something wrong or was too enthusiastic and it turned people off. I'll keep working on myself

I think the issue is perhaps that it wasn't clear what sort of input you wanted from folk on your history.

Speaking for myself, I read every word you wrote, but I only addressed the questions you asked at the end, because I wasn't sure what sort of engagement you were looking for in your history, and it was different enough from my own experience that just sharing my own more privileged story didn't feel right.

If you said something like "Now, tell me your stories" or "Has anyone been through something similar?" it might be easier for folk to engage

I mean, it's clear some people read it, and just decided it was not worth commenting on. I think I should just not post I guess I'm too much of a mess, or maybe I have different expectations of the internet because of my age? I should just give it up already

Unfortunately, as you saw, this community doesn't get much activity. It was popular on reddit, but it doesn't seem to have the same traction on the fediverse. You could try cross posting it to another community like mtf etc?

It doesn't seem like anyone wants to engage with me even after I poured my heart out so maybe I'm just better off alone

HI Ada, thank you so much for the welcome and nice to meet you :), yeah I suppose I figured that, I have been around a little bit to gauge things I just wanted to make sure but I think I'm good, of course I will respect all the rules and I really appreciate so much you and everyone who works to allow us to have this space where I felt comfortable enough to share all of that for the first time ever ❤️

For what it's worth, I'm older than you, and I admin the place :)

This is a safe space, and it's body positive. I can't speak to the community rules for TransJoy, because I don't run that community, but from a "whole instance" perspective, you're absolutely welcome to post body shots, as long as they respect the rules of the community you're in as well. At the instance level, all we ask is that you use a NSFW tag if you think it needs it

And welcome :)