Yes.

Life Pro Tip. Don't play stupid games with people when they are working.

At best it's rude, and at worst it might get you thrown out of the shop

Dork and no clue WTF you're talking about.

Yes, and they would probably be annoyed that you were wasting their time.

Yes.

Unless you drive a 70's Cadillac or something equally gigantic that barely moves with all that displacement, in which case it's a pretty good joke about driving a boat ;)

Yes, that would be a strange thing to say, and unless they also happen to be boaters, most mechanics probably have no idea what side "starboard" is, and maybe not even "aft", so it won't even be useful information to them, which actually makes it quite frustrating. Similar to someone coming in with a vague and incomprehensible complaint that there car is making "a noise" and they want it fixed, but they can't explain in any useful way what the noise is, where it's coming from, when it happens.

Just to be clear, the correct and accepted terminology options are "rear passenger side", or "right rear".

Is your car an amphibious vehicle? If not use the standard language for the thing you're referencing.

Yeah but they'd probably find it a little funny too.

How far abaft of the beam? How far from centerline? Is that first or second deck?

They will laugh and then keelhaul you.

Was waiting for my car, guy walks in and says to the manager "Hey, can you fix my girlfriend's car? It's, like, all fucked up" without elaborating further. As any public-facing job, they have some tolerance for bullshit and will probably ignore it.

Well. You are a dork. So whatever

If you were dressed as an admiral and had a smirk on your face you'd be reet

probably

As an ex-mechanic and ex player of Sea of Thieves, yes, I'd laugh. I'd understand, but I'd laugh. Other mechanics likely wouldn't understand what you mean since pretty much the only crossover terminology between ships and cars is 'wheel'. Assuming you're in America, go with 'nearside rear'.

I’m sure they’ve heard worse.

Drugs, probably

Oh, definitely. But, who the fuck cares?

Do you squint, smoke a pipe and like spinach? If yes they might think you’re Popeye the Sailorman.

Try it and report back.

In my industry we use position numbers,

Front left outer is position 1 then the inner is pos 2 then the right inner position 3 right outer podcast 4

Then onto the next axle etc.

That way you can denote a certain tyre on a road train or float easily.

Sometimes onside or off side is used too. Onside being the side closest to oncoming traffic when travelling

Old school Anglo is nearside (to kerb) and offside

I dunno, I think a lot of mechanics are dorks too, just a different kind of dork