Turns out I just needed a little bit of shredded cheese from the fridge.
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As a child refugee who has moved around a bunch, I completely agree. I was never inducted into community, never shown how to establish this vital component of a pleasurable life. And some part of me understands that community doesn't just appear, you have to work at it to find the people you want to be around, but how does that happen? Not in the logistical sense, that I understand how to approach, but in the relational sense. How does one begin to belong having never felt belonging in the first place?
I have that feeling now. There's an uneasiness to it. Movement feels familiar. In stillness I feel distant.
I am desperate for respite from my inconsolable emotion-children, but there is no safe place to put them down.
Me too and like I don't think its boredom necessarily because no matter what I managed to distract myself with its back immediately after I stop
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