If I had been told at 15, when my GP told my mum to get me tested for Aspergers but she kept it secret from me, that I could be autistic, then I wouldn't have grown up hating myself. Life wouldn't have become a bed of roses, but I would have had self acceptance, better understanding of myself and not grown up hating myself for feeling like a useless failure who was just inherently dumb. Sure, the rest of the world and my family wouldn't have changed their behaviour towards me all that much, but I wouldn't have internalised all the criticism and condemnation as much.