Residents across the state of Washington breathed a sigh of relief this week after the passage of Initiative 638 guaranteed girls are finally safe now that they’re required to show an adult their vagina in order to play school sports.

“Thanks to I-638, all my 12-year-old daughter has to do now to be spared the trauma of losing 5th place to a trans girl in track is show her vagina to an adult,” said local father Hank Hanson. “I love that under this new law, not even a birth certificate is enough for a girl to prove her gender because that deprives children of the opportunity to proudly show their reproductive organs to an adult while I stand in the room and watch to add that extra feeling of comfort and safety.”

Girls who play sports from middle school on up thanked the 1.5 million adults who went so out of their way to make minors living in a country run by a pedophile feel that much more seen.

“Nothing makes me feel safer and more excited to play sports quite like being forced to spread my legs for an adult who’s in at least their 30s,” said 13-year-old soccer player Brittney Rigby. “I don’t know why anyone thought passage of this law might deter girls from playing sports at all. What kind of 7th grader isn’t excited to let an adult they don’t know get a good look at her privates? Pretty routine middle school physical stuff, I’ve heard.”

At press time, boys who play school sports were still sadly completely unsafe due to not being forced to show an adult their penises.