I did not imagine that it would be actually useful from an accessibility point of view.

Indeed for your use case it's a perfect fit

I saw the reviews and assumed it was a scam pointed to the investors.

Don't come crying to me when it leads him on a hike off a cliff.

He was on the couch and our daughter was on the floor.

You have a daughter with your dad? Ew, sick.

Copypasta is supposed to be funnier than this