That's fair. I feel like you might benefit from reading Cloud Atlas. It's... apropos. That, and A Canticle for Leibowitz have basically formed my worldview since reading them.

I think that the philosophy can basically be summed up with the quote "You have to do whatever you can't not do." For us, that's raging against the dying of the light. We can't not. But for some, it's hard enough just trying to survive and be decent to those around us, and that life is not without virtue. By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.