In a shocking turn of events, otters have been photographed in the Bronx River for the first time in over two millennia.

In a more shocking turn, followed quickly by an even more shocking third turn, it seems that otters both love Mayor Mamdani, and also seem to be quite homophobic.

The Mayor's office has let us know that they're still working on how exactly they plan to cheer on the first half of the message from the otter kingdom, while making it clear that Mamdani does not condone that last part at all.

Reporting from inside this black rectangle you're looking at, I'm Leeroy Thompson. Uncrowned king of Oregon.