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am i the only one? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[–] -4 points 3 months ago* (2 children)

In simple terms: This is only true if you have a stupid wife. However, being with a stupid person only reflects poorly on you, because you're the one who made that decision and you're still stuck in it.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago* (1 child)

    Let me say this in a better, more grounded way. It's important to be with a partner that can compassionately and sympathetically understand your emotions, given that you've communicated them effectively and gently. Both partners should strive to understand the hardships, emotions, and stress the other experiences while knowing while they cannot know everything, they should be aware their partner could be mentally, physically, or socially displaced. Acknowledging your partner's feelings is more than half the battle. Sometimes people just want to be seen and heard. Even men. Especially men, since they are often taught to not seek mental support or comfort. I say all this observing my father, mother, and brother (and everyone else of course, but I have a PhD in my family dynamics). I want to push them into therapy, but that's not my job or necessarily the right thing.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago*

    Nicely put. I simply tailored my way of speaking to the audience (judging by the image and the caption).

    Everything you wrote is of course true. However, I feel like you missed the essence of what I meant.

    People often pair up thoughtlessly, based on looks, based on instinct. This is biologically correct. After all, we are animals. However, we have one more trick up our sleeve. A very highly developed prefrontal cortex. It gives us the ability to delve into the personality of the person we intend to commit to for a longer period. We can talk to them, and we often also have the opportunity to see how they react in various situations, especially if we live with that person for a while. Then, after the decision has already been made, instead of moaning that "she looks at me nastily when I'm tired" or even worse "she looks at me nastily when I'm tired, and she doesn't even work herself," we can either try (based on mutual work within the relationship) to fix the situation or end the relationship. If, however, we did nothing to find out anything about our future partner, or worse, we just "went for looks and fuck the rest", then we only have ourselves to blame.

    That's why I always say that I couldn't be with a stupid person, because that would reflect badly on me. Fortunately, I don't have that problem in my relationship.

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