Idk what to say honestly, but, you are not disposable. You've just had some bad luck meeting some shitty people. Im really sorry that you've been having it rough. Give it time, things will get better. Ive been though some shit and would have never thought I'd be where I am now. Nothing's perfect, but, you can find your own peace. Value yourself and your time with you. Read, go to a coffee shop and watch people, take yourself out for dinner. Do something for you, treat yourself, you deserve it.
Oh and fuck those people who treated you that way. You dont need that shit in your life