oh this is the worst part.

town bigwigs. not even county.

once a year they open it up for a big festival and I go and sit like a wart on a toad ready to tell everyone "those bleachers are where the shitter used to be. this one time grandpa H1 (i have too many grandpas) was placing a cement slab over the new, larger septic and the slab cracked. grandma told him he needed to pour more cement and make a new slab, but he was insistent. got up there on top of the crack and jumped on it a few times to prove his point. well grandma proved her point by hosing him off in the yard before she'd let him come back in the house."