In Minecraft, obviously

If you’re going to build a fuck ass fighting octagon on the people’s lawn in front of the people’s house, I should get to fight Stephen Miller in it. I pay taxes. This is my right.
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[–] 6 points 5 months ago (1 child)

My first act as president is spitefully eating giant, delicious, fluffy, syrup-soaked Belgian waffles to my death. With the simultaneous, apparent, demise of the waffle who dealt the killing blow, there is no defender ergo no challenger. Vice president Butterworth signs orders abolishing the bloodsport and God Emperor Commander President Waffles is declared the nation's leader in perpetuity.

And somehow it all seems way more rational than the last... fuck me, it's only been 16 months? Fuck.

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  • Nah, if the sitting president dies, the next president is decided between all interested governors via Hunger Games or a tournament, whichever gets more ad revenue (with the Congress and a figurehead interim president running the country in the meantime).

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