Looking at your writing guide for the LLM, I think my advice about changing workflow was right.
Break the problem down into much smaller steps and then have the LLM do editing passes and self-review from multiple perspectives after getting a crappy rough draft back instead of trying to get it to match your style one-shot.
Using something like this to provide context for the scene when generating a rough draft will likely be helpful:
[SCENE STATE]
- POV: [Name]
- Location/Time:
- Known to POV:
- Unresolved/Secrets:
- Active Props/Details:
- Goal/Conflict:
Also, are you dumping in the full PDF of the entire work so far? Try doing a pass to skeletonize it down into an outline -- maybe chapter by chapter or even scene by scene -- along with getting organized about characters by making profile summaries so that the LLM can understand your story in an already partially digested form instead of trying to do everything all together at once with the huge amount of context reading a full story implies. It's probably getting lost in the weeds.