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What’s something women should support each other more about? (piefed.blahaj.zone)
submitted 6 months ago by to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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[–] 20 points 6 months ago (16 children)

Parenthood.

There's a lot of mom-shaming that comes from other women for a variety of reasons. I wish there was more respect for the millions of ways one can parent their children and more comradery amongst moms instead of competition. Don't even get me started on vocal childfree women.

Raising children is so difficult and not just physically. It's incredibly healing to be able to lean on other women on this topic.

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  • [–] 11 points 6 months ago* (13 children)

    Don't even get me started on vocal childfree women.

    I was with you until you got all judgmental about other women's parenting choices.

    Just fyi, childfree women still face a lot of discrimination and disrespect.

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  • [–] 14 points 6 months ago* (11 children)

    Vocal is the key word there.

    I have lovely friends who have chosen not have to children. It's great when people choose their own path and others respect it. I was on the fence when it came to having kids for most of my life.

    Then there's people who forcefully tell you that not only have they chosen to not have children, but that any woman who chooses to do so are just breeders and children are crotchfruit and fuck trophies that should only be seen and not heard.

    There's a significant difference. And my own path has crossed with other women who have judged my decision for parenthood harshly based only on their own belief that what they have chosen for themselves is superior to all other choices.

    Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It's not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.

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  • [–] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It’s not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.

    I'd hazard a guess (though obviously I have no direct experience thereof) that it gets worse when you have a child. I could not believe the sheer gall of male coworkers "advising" pregnant and newly-mothering colleagues on how to live their lives when i was quiet enough to tolerate that shit in my presence.

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  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Mothers primarily are the ones to take off work for sick days or appointments to start. Maternity leave painted as vacation is a common one! So many it’s hard to list to be honest.

    I’m sympathetic to the pressures and dismissive attitudes that childfree women often get for sure. I once thought that I wouldn’t have any children. Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized. I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago

    Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized.

    And tragically some of the worst scrutineers are fellow women. (This is a general pattern in the western what-passes-for left, actually: the left treats fellow leftists as enemies more often than the actual enemy!)

    I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.

    The broader left in general, and feminism in specific, would be far better off and far more likely to be in the agenda-setting role if more people acted this way, yes. The right learned that lesson and is now winning every key battle, one after the other. I wish we could learn it back.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago* (7 children)

    There is no reason that women who choose not to have children should be any less vocal than others. Being forceful is not the same as being vocal.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago (6 children)

    Come on now, I explained what I meant by vocal.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

    Yes, after the fact.

    Edit: To be clear, I appreciate that you intended for your initial comment to be benign and aimed only at childfree women who are militant and rude about it. However, I do not think that you appreciate how your comment was not benign in its choice of wording.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    And how benign does it seem when you keep pressing it after the explanation?

    (Hint: not even slightly.)

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago*

    This thread is supposed to be about women supporting one another.

    I replied to someone who was not being supportive of other women and who then replied without seeming to understand how what they said was not supportive of other women.

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    And you chose to make mention of your offense and I explained myself because I did not intend to offend childfree women who aren’t assholes about their choice.

    We can’t extend some grace to each other even on a post about women supporting each other?

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  • [–] 8 points 6 months ago

    I'm child free, a choice I made when I was 16 (!) and have never wavered from.

    I still despise the loud, judgy child free crowd.

    It's rather like how I'm an atheist, but can't stand Atheists (note the capitalization).

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (1 child)

    I’m pretty thankful for vocal, obnoxious, childfree women. I have two and if I still thought it was my social obligation I might have had 5. I adore kids. I do not love that only people who want to have children get to be loud and take up space with their hopes and dreams. I did read down the thread, however, I think people who are in the majority sometimes don’t realize how “vocal” or “obnoxious” the can come off in the spaces they take up (the majority of space).

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

    I never said that only people who have children get to be loud and take up space with their hopes and dreams.

    If you’ve never encountered a childfree person who hates children and is vocal about it, to the point of calling other women “breeders”, you don’t understand what I meant.

    Everyone should choose the path that’s best for them when it comes to having or not having children. And everyone else should respect that.

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