You’re not expressing the support / ‘live and let live’ attitude you think you are.

Your impression of trans people is based on right wing hyperbole/mockery. You don’t understand it, because “it” doesn’t make sense.

The phrases “man in a dress” or “woman with a beard”does not resonate with the vast majority of people actually in the community.

I can help clear up some of the confusion, if you’d like.

I don't think trans people necessarily expect you to fully understand. how could anyone who isn't trans themselves really fully understand?

but they at least expect you to treat them with the same dignity and respect that you'd give to anyone else.

But the moment someone starts saying they identify as opposite from their birthed biological chromosomes you've lost me.

There are two things you appear ignorant about.

First, while gender and sex are not the same thing HRT can be absurdly effective and adjusting the latter to match the former. There are humans out here who look and act "obviously" manly or womanly, despite privately being female or male respectivly. And that's before we consider surgical options.

Second, human sex is not that simple. Take the IoC's "trans women" ban, where they are now testing for the SRY gene. Except that there are cis-women who are XX with a copied SRY from their fatber's Y, and XY humans for whom the SRY gene is dormant, or whose testes never developed, or who are testosterone resistant -- and have appeared feminine since birth. Its entirely likely the IoC will wind up banning more cis women than trans women.

Taken together, these facts lead most people to conclude that the only fair thing is to take people at their word. Sure, doing so means you may need to treat some apparent "bearded women" and "men in dresses" contrary to your initial perception. But most adults do that anyway for literally every other aspect of humanity, and unless you're a sexist jerk the sum total of what you'd need to change is just pronouns and salutations.

No one is saying you have to understand. Just be respectful.

So you're saying you know misgendering hurts people's feelings, but you're still going to do it, because you don't understand why it hurts their feelings?