For me it was "Your mom looks like Gimli from Lord of the Rings.". My best friend took a few seconds to process what I just said to him and then started crying laughing. Good times. I think it was the deadpan delivery that killed him.

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[–] 18 points 1 year ago (1 child)

Joke.

My buddy had gotten a job in a posh part of town. He told me that one of the unexpected benefits was that every woman he saw was dressed to impress with perfect hair, makeup, and clothing.

"Joe, you gotta get over this sick fetish you have for women who bathe every day."

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    Waiting tables, this is for real. 90% of the women I see are made up for date night^*^ and all my coworkers are more attractive than average.

    ^*^ but not the men, many fewer men dress up for dates than women do

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