This is not okay.

If you are an ally, as I think you at least want to be, this can't be the response. You did, in fact, respond to a post about trans visibility with a long rambling post about yourself. The response to being told that this isn't the place for it was again, egocentric defensiveness.

An ally who is an ally until they're challenged at which point they wave their ally flag around in indignation is not an ally. What you're doing here is using other people's queerness, people who are not you, to push back against queer people daring to challenge your unconsidered sense of entitlement to queer spaces and identity.

Do you realize how common this is? Do you know how many people will casually make a transphobic joke and then chew out trans people who take exception to it while insisting that they have trans friends so it's okay? You deigning to be friends with trans people doesn't mean you should stop listening to trans people.

It's not okay. You can do better.

Dude, I wasn't saying you aren't supportive enough. Just, that you are taking up too much space! This day is (was) literally meant to be a celebration of trans people and their struggles and you try to make it about yourself. So yes, it would be exactly the right occasion to for one day validate us. And if you don't want to, then just shut up.

I believe your heart is on the right place, and would risk the same for your convictions, but analyse from a practical point of view. Is the discussion dominating this post on topic or off topic? When should arguments have stopped in name of be(e)ing nice?