I agree that "RTFM" can be insensitive, and even mean. However, the place it comes from is genuine. It's nobodies job to tell you exactly what page to look at. If you've dug through the docs and still can't find your answer, make it explicit that you've searched the manual, and perhaps be explicit about parts you don't quite understand.

The whole "RTFM" thing was born from people asking for help when they obviously hadn't made a proper try themselves first.