ffs moopet, why did you let your internet get this bad

Good God, this one hits home for me. “He’s always in his room on his cuhpyooter.” “He’s a hacker, he’s a nerd.” Ummm, no. I’m just pretending to be a girl and swapping tit pics with other dudes who are pretending to be girls and playing video games. Y’all living in the stone age with your magazines and your Nintendo. I’m in my room with every Nintendo game ever made and a new pair of tits to look at anytime I want.

Now half of those people are fumbling around and giving scammers 200 dollars, constantly glued to their little 30 dollar smart phones and “playing on Facebook”. And of course, they be calling me to ask how to find an app they got from the play store. “It used to just go on the screen I swear.”