Extreme insecurity is a terrifying thing, so withholding and abusing as a form of control to distance yourself from the parts of yourself that are insecure is the “solution.” Then they stay in social spaces where it’s standard practice to reinforce this nonsense and bob’s your uncle, you’ve got an incel.

Figuring out how to be comfortable around people in a way that doesn’t isolate you is a simple idea to vocalize, but a pretty massive undertaking.