His name is Johan. You are his human now. You may call him Joey or “yoyo” or many other familiar terms of endearment (assuming you are familiar with the European soft ‘j’ sound. 🪀)

You must feed him nutritious and delicious meals, give him affection and love and reverence, and do his every bidding. This is the will of our (sectarian cat over-)lord. I wish you a happpy and harmonious life together. I now pronounce you Johan, and “Johan-adjacent, subservient sycophantic lackey”. You may now scoop his litter.