I don't know where you are in your life so take this as you will. I'm 55 and I've felt like this more when i was young. If you're different its much more difficult to make and maintain relationships of any kind. There is scarcity of like minded folks that aren't part of the masses. Of every sort. Finding alternative community is work. If you're gonna be miserable like I am still, sometimes, might was well risk it all on being happy. Keep it up. You are worth the trouble. Everyone else can just fuck right off, bb. You got this. Your people are in your future! 💜

You might be depressed, bud. Those feelings are valid, at the same time. Just guessing, and hoping it gets easier for ya. I've been there.