Yeah, I think saying “toxic masculinity” and moving on like it’s these guys’ fault they’re isolated is a large part of the issue. While I don’t recommend befriending every single lonely guy out there, it won’t kill people to listen or care about others.

Saying it’s “you’re” fault and absolving oneself of fault doesn’t do that. It just pushes someone else into more isolation. That’s how you end up with guys talking to porn bots: because no one will listen to them. That’s how you get incels following Andrew Tate or Nick Fuentes: people called out their “toxic masculinity,” but weren’t willing to help, just protect themselves.

While I get it that boundaries are a good defense against legitimate threats, as someone who was in this demographic, it literally took just one person being nice to me and now I’m not just some “nice guy” on Reddit (Now I’m a piece of shit on Lemmy). Now I’m married and can show incels I meet that there is a path forward where they aren’t lonely and they don’t have to listen to virgin wannabe rapists to learn how to be cool.

Dear Steam: don’t

I think you both are essentially right. Like, I don’t think he’s a plant by republicans, but I do think that like Hilary, his values align with republicans, not liberals (I make the distinction of republicans and liberals because most elected democrats are not as far left as their constituents). But I think almost all Representatives are part of the ruling class. In America, you kinda have to be. Either they take corporate money or they own businesses (i.e. are part of “corporate”)

Americans get it: the politicians benefit from acting like it’s left vs right. It’s a small amount of Americans that don’t get this, the rest of us are stuck with a two party system where unless you are a .1%er you can’t create a new party, and EVERY .1%er supports whatever side won’t tax them.

I think the most frustrating thing to me is that the ONE person I’ve overheard explaining why we “just had to” bomb and kill civilians and children was justifying it with the threat of nuclear bombs because we “can’t trust them” to uphold “Fatwa.” Which is stupid for many reasons that I shouldn’t have to get into: but the one I will is that “sure, we can’t trust our enemy, so let’s kill the civilians we said we were going to protect from that enemy.”

I’m frustrated to see that number ONLY be at 59%.

Shot answer: I am ok with it, but usually I am not ok with the people who are willing to say them. And to make sure it’s ok, the key is consent.

Long answer: as a brown boy myself, I find that I am not offended by the slur itself. Like, the only power a word can have is the power I give it. I generally think of the band “The Slants” that is/was comprised of Asian men who made that the name to take the power of the word away. Now you don’t really hear the word.

I think my rule of thumb is really what the dark humor is. Like, how is it said? Like, I am NOT black, but I feel comfortable making jokes about black people having smoke alarms without batteries in them. I feel comfortable making that joke with my black friend and without him. I feel ok with it because who is the joke hurting?

I’m also not a woman, but I DON’Y feel ok with making jokes about how they can’t drive, that they should be in the kitchen, etc.

The major difference here is that in this example women are being put down or being called “less.”

I see it the same way with slurs. Trigger, I’m going to use slurs here, but I’ve already used one, so maybe you should have seen the trigger at the beginning. But I feel using them is important for this conversation.

I have almost exclusively gay friends. I am not gay. We send memes back and forth calling each other “Fag” or “Faggot.” And it feels ok. What I personally do is get consent. And understand their consent can change. And I have to be ok with that.

Now, if I’m talking to someone and they call me a “gook” or they call a black person a “nigger,” I am not ok with that. I find that they usually hide behind the label of “dark comedy” and claim they’re “just joking,” but they’re not. They’re just being bigoted. And obviously that’s not ok. And that’s what I mean that while I am ok with slurs in jokes, I think people who are willingly using them in “jokes” are not joking or are doing it in bad faith to put people down.

Which is frustrating. I think being able to use them in jokes is helpful. Joking is how we open the door to real conversation. But I think people hide behind that and lie about their intentions to hurt people. And that’s why most of us aren’t ok with it and why consent is such a huge thing. So go out, call your gay friends “faggot,” but make sure you’re doing it while lifting them up, not putting them down.

Alright. So one, that’s literally America’s mantra. 2, that’s literally how you ended your last comment. 3, you’re just moving the goalpost. Instead of pretending to be arguing in good faith when this wasn’t even supposed to be an argument, just leave the comment section. What’s the point starting shit on a post that’s already a day old? If this is fun for you, maybe you should try Reddit.

I suppose you’re right that your country is similar or has similarities. I’m not saying that other countries don’t have problems with their own governments or money. But that’s not what I was illustrating here. What I’m illustrating is why the fair elections turn out how they do. Would I say that Russia is less corrupt or less ruled by money? No. Ukrain? Obviously not.

What I’m illustrating is that America, despite being “the land of the free,” is very much not free. And this idea that all Americans are at fault for Donald being elected isn’t true. About 47% of its population didn’t vote for him (before you say anything I do understand how elections work) and now he is tearing our republic/democracy apart.

And yes, it always looks from outsider perspectives that Americans are not studied or that we don’t travel or that we don’t pay attention to outside politics. We do. Believe me. So when I say we have a very different political system, I’d argue it’s true. And it’s true for every other country. No political system (or even government) is the same. And we are all just as helpless as each other. Like, in America we don’t have parties sprouting up like Russia, Germany, Australia, etc. we don’t have a dictatorship like Russia, North Korea. We don’t have three separate countries inside of one like the UK - we have over 50. It’s like if the EU was one country.

So it doesn’t help that you’re assuming I don’t pay attention outside my boarders. We literally just invaded Venezuela and kidnapped their leader (without our congress agreeing to it, which is required by law). America has so much power in world politics. We have military bases spread across the world; it wouldn’t even require us dispatching troops from America to stage a coup in another country. And we’ve already done it or tried to do it: look at the Philippines or Cuba (Bay of Pigs as we call it) or literally anywhere in the Middle East. I would be an idiot to not pay attention. It’s fucking scary.

And to give you another example, these corporations that I’m talking about don’t just mess with my economy and government. These chip shortages you’re seeing, that’s the companies in my country causing them. China not exporting chips that are used for cars anymore? That’s America’s fault.

I love how you’re just an asshole

I see no lies here.